Atlantis Christmas
by BettyHall223
Summary: Jack spends Christmas with Sam but it isn't the happy holiday they were hoping for.


_Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are not my property. No copyright infringement is intended._

Lying on his side with his head propped on his fist, Jack stared at his wife as she slept on her back.

Sam had finally gotten leave from her job as Commander of Atlantis and had returned home to Earth last night.

_Standing at the foot of the ramp, he watched her come through the event horizon. As she walked toward him, their eyes met as he held out his arms to her and smiles lit up their faces. Silence settled over the gate room and the only sound that could be heard was Sam dropping her overnight bag on the concrete floor as she stepped into his embrace._

_He hugged his wife, so happy to finally have her with him, even if it would only be for one short week._

_As they embraced, Sam whispered in his ear "Jack, people are watching."_

"_Don't care" was his muffled reply against her neck and he had heard and felt her softly giggle as he held her tightly in his arms._

_Eventually breaking the hug but needing to stay in physical contact, he held her hand._

_Everyone watched as they turned to walk through the door and he glanced up to see Hank observing from the control room, a smile on his face. The General spoke into the microphone "good to have you home, Colonel."_

_Sam smiled. "Thank you, sir. It's great to be here."_

_They chatted non-stop as he drove the short distance home._

_Arriving at their house, they had barely closed the front door before they had frantically started undressing each other._

A smile came to his face as he remembered Sam snuggling into his chest as he wrapped his arm around her, after they had made love into the wee hours of the morning.

Sam sighed and slowly opened her sleepy eyes.

"Hey."

Jack answered her with a kiss as she put her arms around his neck and pulled him to her.

"I'm so glad you're here. I've missed you."

Sam grinned. "I've missed you too. So much."

They lingered in bed awhile longer, just talking and catching up with what was going on in each other's life.

After making love once again, they finally got out of bed.

**~oOo~**

The week quickly passed and Sam would be leaving tomorrow morning to return to Atlantis.

Jack sat on the sofa watching TV as Sam came into the room. Looking up at her, he could see the sadness in her eyes. Holding out his arm, Sam sat down beside him and he hugged her to him as she snuggled into his side.

He put the TV on mute so they could talk.

"Hard to leave, isn't it?"

Sam quickly brushed a tear from her cheek and nodded her head. She leaned back so she could look into his face. "I'm thinking about coming home, Jack. For good."

Jack raised his eyebrows. "But you love this job and you're great at it. Hank tells me all the time how well you're doing. He's so proud of you, almost as much as I am."

Sitting up, she looked into his eyes. "You don't want me to come home?"

"Honey, I'd like nothing more than to have you here. You know that. I miss you like crazy. But this is your career we're talking about and I'm not going to be selfish and spoil this for you."

Sam shook her head. "You're not being selfish, Jack, you've never interfered in my career decisions. Maybe I'm being selfish, wanting to come home."

"No, you're not. Maybe you're just realizing that we're both getting older and time passes quickly and there's more to life than your job. I just want you to do whatever makes you happy."

Sam grinned. "You make me happy, Jack."

Jack pulled her to him, wrapping his arms around her as she laid her head on his shoulder and he kissed her forehead. "I gather you've been thinking about this for awhile."

Sam nodded her head. "I can always find something to do here on Earth, with the Air Force or not."

Jack started to change positions. "Sit up."

They turned to face each other and Jack took her hands in his. "Sam, I don't want you to leave the Air Force, resign your commission. You're going to be a general in the not too distant future. You've worked so hard to get where you are and you've deserved every promotion you've been given."

Sam shook her head, looked down at their hands and back into his eyes. "I don't know exactly what I want to do, Jack, but I've been giving this a lot of thought since I've been on Atlantis. I just know that I miss you so much. We waited so long to be together and I don't want us to be apart any more. Now that you've retired, we could be together all the time if I were here on Earth and I'd love for us to have a baby."

"I would too, Sam. You know I'll support you, whatever it is you decide."

Sam smiled. "You are the sweetest husband in the whole world."

Jack grinned. "I'm glad you think so. Hey, I have an idea."

"What's that?"

"Christmas is coming. I know you probably can't take leave again soon, so why don't I come spend the holiday with you?"

Sam smiled and put her arms around Jack's neck. "I'd love that."

**~oOo~**

The door to the gate room opened as Jack and Sam slowly entered and Walter started the dialing procedure.

Jack took Sam's hands in his and they gazed into each other's eyes. They had said their private goodbyes at home, knowing that others would be watching now.

Jack pulled Sam into his arms and whispered in her ear "I miss you already and just remember I love you and whatever career decision you make is fine with me."

Sam tried not to cry. "I love you too, Jack, and I'll try to stay busy so I won't miss you so much."

Hearing the familiar swoosh of the event horizon, they looked at each other one last time.

Sam tried to smile. "I'll see you at Christmas."

Jack grinned. "Anything special you want for a present?"

Sam winked. "Just you."

Jack lowered his voice. "You've had me . . . since the day we met."

Sam smiled as he squeezed her hand and let go.

Jack watched Sam pick up her bag and walk up the ramp. Reaching the top, she turned around and they slowly raised their hands to each other in goodbye.

Taking a deep breath, Jack watched as the event horizon faded out behind her.

**~oOo~**

It was now December 24th as Jack and Hank stood in the gate room.

Hank laid his hand on Jack's shoulder. "I hope you both have a great Christmas."

"I've been counting down the days since Sam was here last. I can hardly wait to see her."

"You're madly in love with this woman, aren't you, Jack?"

Jack turned to look at him with an expression on his face that Hank had never seen. "More than you could ever imagine."

Hank smiled as Jack hurriedly walked up the ramp and went through the event horizon.

Stepping through the gate onto Atlantis, Jack looked around at the chaos going on around him. People were running in every direction as a fire alarm blared overhead.

Wondering what was going on, he held up his hand to a young woman as she came running toward him.

"What's happening?" he yelled.

The woman stopped and put her hand to her chest, trying to catch her breath. "There was an explosion in the largest lab which caused a fire. We're not sure how many are trapped inside. Excuse me, I need to go."

Jack glanced around, hoping to see Sam, but realized she would be helping her people in all this confusion or, heaven forbid, she had been nearby when the explosion had occurred.

He dropped the bag he had brought with him and followed the young woman up two flights of steps and down a long corridor. As they approached the area, he could see smoke and flames and people were having to stay back because of the heat. The smoke had a chemical odor to it, making it hard to breathe.

As he turned his head, he saw a man running toward them, carrying several fire extinguishers in his arms.

Jack grabbed one from the man, pulled the plug and began to spray the foam at the fire.

As everyone worked together, the fire was quickly extinguished so Jack dropped the fire extinguisher on the floor.

The debris was too hot to handle so everyone started kicking with their feet to get inside to help whomever was trapped inside. The explosion had knocked out the lights, making the room very dim and hard to see.

A pathway was soon made big enough for people to go through and Jack didn't hesitate. He covered his nose and mouth with his hand and glanced around, silently praying that Sam was not here, among the dead or injured.

As a man held up the end of a table off a young woman whose leg was caught underneath, Jack pulled her out. The man lifted the woman in his arms and carried her outside into the hallway.

Jack could see that a medical team had arrived and among them was Dr. Jennifer Keller. The Doctor's eyes grew wide with surprise as she recognized him.

Growing more frantic by the moment, Jack suddenly noticed a woman with blonde hair lying on her back in the corner of the room and immediately knew that it was Sam.

Rushing to her, he quickly picked up a piece of wood that was lying across her stomach and tossed it aside. Noticing her left arm lying in a crazy angle, he immediately knew that it was broken.

Jack turned and yelled "I need help over here!"

Dr. Keller came running and knelt down beside him and the Doctor quickly checked for a pulse.

Dr. Keller glanced at Jack. "She's alive, sir!"

Jack gently picked up Sam, carried her out into the hallway and laid her on a gurney. He walked along beside Sam and held her hand as they rushed her to the infirmary.

Jack lifted Sam onto a bed as Dr. Keller began an examination.

He tried to wait patiently as the Doctor did her job.

In a few minutes, Dr. Keller looked at him. "General O'Neill, I think it would be best if you wait outside please while we do a more thorough examination."

Dr. Keller noticed Jack clasp his hands together to stop them from shaking.

Jack stared at Sam. "She'll be okay. Please tell me she'll be okay."

Seeing how scared he was, Dr. Keller reached across the bed and gently laid her hand on Jack's arm. "We'll do our best, sir, to take care of her. I promise."

Jack left the room to wait outside. Sitting down on a chair, he took several deep breaths and ran his hands over his face. "Some Christmas this turned out to be" he mumbled.

As he sat there, two more people were brought to the infirmary on gurneys and he recognized Dr. McKay as one of them.

He knew the arrogant Doctor had a crush on Sam and he had teased her about it when she had been at home.

He turned his head as a gurney was slowly rolled past him with a sheet pulled over the person's face, indicating the person was dead.

He remembered when he had been commander at the Mountain, having to write condolence letters to loved ones of the men and women who had died when they had served under his command.

Glancing at his watch every few minutes, he became more nervous thinking about Sam, so he stood up and began pacing the hallway.

Sometime later, Dr. Keller came through the door looking tired.

Jack stopped pacing, feeling his heart jump to his throat.

"How is she?"

"We've moved her to a private room. If you'll come with me, you can see her."

Jack followed the Doctor into a small room to see Sam with her eyes closed and her arm in a sling.

Jack walked up beside Sam and stared at her. "What did you find out? Will she be okay?"

"She has a slight concussion, a broken rib, a broken left arm and bruising in her pelvic area. I'm so sorry, sir, but the baby didn't survive."

Jack quickly turned his head and his eyes grew wide as he stared at the Doctor. "Baby? What baby?"

Dr. Keller's breath caught in her throat. "Oh, sir, I just assumed you already knew she was pregnant."

Jack felt as if he had just had the wind knocked out of him as he sat down hard on the chair beside her bed. Staring at Sam, he shook his head. "No. No, I didn't know she was pregnant."

"She came to see me recently after experiencing morning sickness. I did a pregnancy test and that confirmed it. She was so excited. She was probably waiting for you to arrive so she could tell you in person. I'm so sorry, sir."

Jack's hand gripped Sam's as he tried to control his emotions.

Not knowing what else to say, Dr. Keller took a step back. "I'll leave you alone. You can stay here as long as you like, sir."

Jack was hardly aware that the Doctor had left the room as he put his hand over his mouth.

'A baby?' he thought. 'Sam had been pregnant? We were going to have a baby?'

He let go of Sam's hand, leaned over and put his elbows on his knees and covered his face with his hands as he tried not to cry.

He stood up and stared at Sam as he gently placed his hand to her cheek. Knowing how much Sam had wanted a child, he knew how hard it was going to be to break the news to her that the baby was gone.

They had both wanted children but since they spent so much time apart, they had known it might be difficult for Sam to get pregnant, but they did want to try to have at least one child.

Sam softly moaned so Jack quickly sat down beside her on the bed and gently took her hand in his.

Sam slowly opened her eyes and tried to focus on Jack's face.

"Jack . . . you're here" she whispered.

"Yes, honey, I'm here."

"What happened?"

"Some kind of explosion in the lab. I arrived just after it happened."

"Everyone okay?"

Jack slowly shook his head. "I'm afraid not, honey."

At that moment, Dr. Keller walked up beside the bed.

"Colonel, how are you feeling?"

"My side hurts."

"You have a broken rib, a broken arm, a slight concussion and some bruising in your pelvic area."

Sam's eyes suddenly opened very wide. "The baby. Is the baby okay?"

Jack and Dr. Keller glanced at each other but Jack couldn't bring himself to look at Sam.

Dr. Keller slowly shook her head.

Sam tried to sit up as tears filled her eyes. "No!"

Sam started to cry so Jack wrapped his arms around her as she laid her head on his chest.

Tears came to the Doctor's eyes. "I'm so sorry, Colonel. There was nothing we could do to save the baby."

Dr. Keller backed out of the room to give them privacy.

Not knowing what to say to Sam, Jack just held her and let her cry.

After several minutes, Sam leaned back and looked at Jack as tears ran down her cheeks. "I was so excited when I found out, Jack, and since I knew you were coming for Christmas, I wanted to tell you in person that you were going to be a dad again. I'm sorry."

Jack put his hands to her cheeks and wiped away the tears with his thumbs. "Sam, this isn't your fault."

Sam looked into his eyes. "Yes, it is. If I hadn't been in the room, I'd still be pregnant."

"You couldn't have known the explosion was going to happen. Sam, please don't blame yourself for this."

"I can't help it, Jack. We wanted a baby and now it's gone" she whispered as she continued to cry and leaned against his chest.

He held her until he finally felt her relax in his arms.

"Lie back, Sam. You need to rest."

Sam lay back on the pillow and Jack held her hand.

Sam stared at the ceiling. "The first time I had morning sickness, I thought it might have been something I ate. Then it started happening more often. When Dr. Keller confirmed that I was pregnant, I was so happy and excited. I thought that telling you that you were going to be a dad again would be the best Christmas present I could possibly give you."

Jack started to reply just as Dr. Keller came into the room and stood beside the bed.

"Are you in pain?"

"My side hurts."

"Yes, it will for awhile until your rib heals. I'm going to give you something for the pain and it will also help you sleep through the night."

Sam looked at Jack. "Don't stay here with me all night. Go to my room and sleep there."

"I'll stay until you fall asleep, Sam."

Sam closed her eyes as Dr. Keller put medicine into Sam's IV line.

Dr. Keller looked at Jack. "Sir, please let me know if you need anything."

"I will. Thanks."

The Doctor turned to leave but Jack stopped her.

"How many people were injured?"

The Doctor took a deep breath. "Five injured and two are dead."

"Does anyone know what caused the explosion?"

"No sir. Not yet."

Dr. Keller left the room and Jack stared at Sam as he held Sam's hand between both of his.

Several minutes passed and he could see the rise and fall of Sam's chest and knew the medicine was helping her sleep.

Suddenly feeling very tired, he slowly let go of Sam's hand and stood up. Leaning over, he gently kissed her forehead.

Knowing that Sam would probably sleep until morning, he decided to go to her quarters and try to rest and he wanted to be by himself.

Wandering down the hallway, he opened the door to his wife's room and turned on the light.

Someone had put his bag that he had brought with him inside the room.

Closing the door behind him, he glanced around and his eyes immediately went to the picture on Sam's nightstand. Walking over to it, he picked it up and sat down on the bed. Tears came to his eyes as he stared at their wedding picture and the radiant smile on Sam's face. She had looked incredibly beautiful on their wedding day and they both had never been so happy.

As a sob escaped his throat, he put his hand over his eyes and choked back the tears.

As he held the picture in one hand, he removed his shoes with his other hand and lay down on his side.

Wiping his eyes, his thoughts went back to when Sam had last been on Earth. That was when she had gotten pregnant.

He set the picture back on the nightstand and stared at it, remembering that just after they had gotten engaged, they had taken a walk in the park across the street from Sam's house.

_They held hands as they walked._

"_Sam, do you want children?"_

_Sam stopped walking so he did too. She let go of his hand, put her arms around his neck and gave him a long kiss._

_As the kiss was broken, they gazed into each other's eyes and Sam grinned._

"_Does that answer your question, Jack?"_

_He smiled. "I believe so."_

Turning over on his back, he wiped away the tears and closed his eyes.

**~oOo~**

Jack woke up early the next morning. After taking a shower and getting dressed, he returned to Sam's room and saw that she was awake.

Walking up beside her, he kissed her on the cheek. "How are you feeling?"

"Sore but I'm okay. Dr. Keller's going to let me go to my room."

"That's good. You'll feel more comfortable there."

A few minutes later, a nurse came in pushing a wheelchair. She helped Sam off the bed, Sam sat down and Jack pushed her down the hallway.

Upon arriving, Sam eased out of the chair and lay down on the bed.

Jack moved the wheelchair out of the way and turned to look at Sam.

"Do you need anything?"

"An extra pillow. There should be a few in the closet."

Jack found a pillow and put it under Sam's head. He lay down beside her and turned over on his side to face her.

Jack took a deep breath. "Some Christmas this turned out to be."

Sam looked into Jack's eyes. "I wanted this baby, Jack."

"I know you did, honey."

"Even though the baby was still very tiny and I didn't even know what it looked like yet, I loved it already because it was yours."

Sam started to cry so Jack put his hand to her face and gently rubbed his thumb against her cheek.

They heard a knock on the door so Sam quickly wiped her face.

"Do you want me to send them away?"

Sam shook her head. "No, I should see who it is."

Jack answered the door to find Colonel John Sheppard standing there with his arms crossed. John dropped his arms to his sides and stood up straight when he saw Jack.

"General O'Neill."

"Sheppard."

"I'm sorry to bother you, sir, but I was wondering if I could speak with Colonel Carter."

Jack turned to look at Sam as she said "come in, John."

John entered the room and stood beside Sam's bed as Jack closed the door and sat down on a chair.

Sam set up and adjusted the sling on her arm. "What can I do for you?"

"I know you're not feeling very well right now, but I was just talking with Teyla and Rodney and Ronon and Dr. Beckett. We think there should be a memorial service for Lieutenant Lewis and Lieutenant Morrison. It needs to be soon so we can get them back to their families on Earth for their funerals."

"Yes, most certainly. Have their families been notified?"

"Yes. General Landry took care of it. I'll make the arrangements for the service here and we think it would be appropriate for you to speak."

Sam glanced at Jack. "I'll be glad to."

"I'll notify General Landry of approximately what time we'll be dialing the gate to send the bodies through after the service."

"Sounds good. Also, get some people to escort the bodies."

"I will."

"I appreciate you doing this for them, John."

"Well, from what I understand from Dr. Beckett and Rodney, they were both well liked and they were great at their jobs, so I think it's only fitting that we should do something."

"Yes, I do too."

John backed up and put his hand on the door knob. "I'll get everything arranged and let you know what time it's to take place. I hope you feel better soon."

"Thanks."

John looked at Jack. "Good to see you again, sir."

"You too, Sheppard."

John opened the door and walked out as Sam eased her legs over the side of the bed. Jack stood up from the chair and sat down beside her.

"You okay?"

Sam nodded her head as she reached for his hand. "I've only had to speak at one other memorial service."

"Janet" Jack said with a sigh.

"It was all I could do to get through that one. I don't like this part of my job, Jack."

"Nobody does, honey."

"How did you do it? Writing condolence letters and speaking at memorials?"

"Just comes with the territory, Sam. It's something you really never get used to. You just suck it up and go on."

"I need to stop thinking about myself, Jack, and remember that two of my people are dead."

"Sam, I know all of this isn't easy, losing people under your command never is; I know since I've been through it myself. Losing the baby at the same time isn't something you're going to get over soon so I don't expect you to. Don't be so hard on yourself."

Sam took a deep breath as Jack put his arm around her shoulder and gently hugged her.

**~oOo~**

Jack stood at the back of the room at the memorial service and watched as Sam slowly climbed to the top of the stairs and looked down at the large group of people standing silently below.

Sam began to speak and Jack could tell by the look on her face that she was feeling weak from the broken rib, the broken arm and especially the emotional turmoil she would be feeling for some time to come over losing the baby.

She spoke of the camaraderie and friendships that people build among themselves when stationed very far away from their families.

He could tell that Sam was trying not to cry, as she spoke of the dedicated military service of the two people she had been honored to know who had died in service of their country.

As she ended her speech and slowly descended the steps, Jack realized once again what an amazing woman he was married to.

He stood at attention along with Sam, Colonel Sheppard and the other military personnel from Earth as Taps was played, and there were tears shed by many in the group as the stargate was opened and the bodies of their colleagues were sent back to Earth.

**~oOo~**

The day after the memorial service, Jack and Sam sat on the edge of the balcony overlooking the water below. Sam started to lay her head on Jack's shoulder so he put his arm around her and hugged her to him.

Sam took deep breaths of fresh air and placed her hand on her abdomen, knowing the baby was no longer there.

Jack knew what she was thinking.

"We'll have a baby."

Sam tried not to cry. "I hope so. I'd like to be a mom."

Jack squeezed her shoulder. "Hey, just think how much fun we'll having trying."

Sam smiled and gently slapped Jack on his arm. "You're such a guy."

Jack grinned and wiggled his eyebrows. "Ya think?"

Sam giggled as Jack kissed her forehead.

They looked out over the water as it sparkled in the sunshine.

"I should have brought my fishing gear, Sam. Perfect spot to fish."

"I'm not so sure what you would catch in this water. There may be different fish here than there are on Earth."

After several minutes, Sam began to chew her lower lip.

"What are you thinking, Sam? I know something is going on in that brain of yours when you start to chew your lip."

"I want to go home, Jack."

Jack raised his eyebrows. "You do?"

"Yes. Remember when I was at home I told you that I'd been thinking about it?"

Jack nodded his head.

"Well, I lay awake most of the night thinking about it even more. I can't get pregnant if we don't see each other. Besides, if another accident happens like it did in the lab, or something worse, I might not survive next time. I'll talk to General Landry about my decision and see what my options are. I'll suggest to General Landry that John Sheppard take over here as commander. He's earned it and he'll be great at it."

"Sam, I want you to be positive that this is what you really want before you make a final decision."

Sam looked into his eyes. "I want to be with you more than anything. I don't want to just see you for a short time every few months. I want to see you every day. I want to go to sleep beside you and wake up beside you. I want us to have the chance to make love any time we want to. I want us to have the family that we both want before I get too old to have a child. I want us to have meals together, do ordinary things together. I want to spend time with Cassie and our friends. I want us to spend time at the cabin and enjoy the lake in the summer and the snow in the winter. I want a job that isn't dangerous so that when we do have a baby, I won't be putting my life at risk. I want to be around to see our child become an adult and I want to grow old with you."

Jack smiled. "Can't argue with that. So you think you can put up with having me around all the time? After all, we've been separated for long periods of time since we got married."

"Jack, if I didn't want to spend time with you, I wouldn't have married you."

Jack grinned and hugged her to him. "Okay. Just checking."

Sam gently kissed Jack on his cheek. "I love you."

"And I love you, Sam. I know it's a little late but, Merry Christmas."

Sam smiled. "Merry Christmas, Jack."

The End


End file.
